I had been so proud of myself for openly and repeatedly declaring that I was going to become a civil rights attorney. The more I said it out loud, the harder it would be to abandon.
And then, during my 1L summer doing legal aid work, there was a dip in the market. Fears of a repeat of the 2008 financial crisis set in. On the last day to sign up for on campus interviews, I ranked 17 BigLaw law firms. Luckily for me, a series of fortunate events eventually led me back to civil rights.
While I had accepted an offer from a BigLaw law firm for my 2L summer, I made sure to balance it out with a civil rights position. I ultimately split my summer: 8 weeks making $600 per day (PER DAY) to do less-than-entry-level-work and 6 weeks working for free at a non-profit.
Why split? I knew I had accepted the BigLaw law firm summer job from a place of fear. And I also knew that having a split summer would help me keep the door open when I looked for a full-time civil rights position.
Still, the end of summer came around and the BigLaw law firm gave me an offer for full-time employment after graduation. I accepted. Even though I knew I wanted to do civil rights work. Even though I couldn’t support the substance of the work I would be doing at the BigLaw law firm. Even though weeks earlier I had confided in a friend that I was scared of getting an offer precisely because I thought I would accept it and ultimately hate practicing law.
Happily for me, a clerkship offer came several weeks later. I now had two years to get back on my path.
Still, having the offer out there was a crutch. I knew it would hold me back. But it was hard to give up.
That is, until one day my judge plopped down onto my desk a stack that was – it turns out – my clerkship application file. Which means it contained copies of the five recommendation letters professors and mentors had sent in for my judge’s review. He encouraged me to read them.
In that stack was one letter from arguably my least “distinguished” professor. And that was the letter that changed everything.
Reading the letter, I was immediately reminded about why I had gone to law school, about all the ambition I had, all of the confidence that comes from a place of ignorance. I made the decision then and there that I would be rescinding my acceptance from the BigLaw law firm. Having a crutch holds you back. I knew that, and it was time to get rid of my crutch.
The rest is history.